I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
