Having a random hookup so left but love u
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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