Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
