walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
