we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Green mimosas i think yes
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
