I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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