Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
