Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I have demons in me.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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