New invention idea: vibrating tampons
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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