I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Still dying that you shit outside
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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