she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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