Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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