I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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