All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You ate ashes out of my bong
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
