I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
