hell yes lets make some ravioli
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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