What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
