I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize