Dual....:-)
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
