Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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