I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
