So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
