she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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