escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
