i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I touched a dick in church today
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
