So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
