We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
