dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
