If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Your penis caused this!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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