The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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