just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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