R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You are the jesus of drinking
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
