Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
ttyl tear gas
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
