One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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