Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
