my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i need to put some appletini on your dick
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
