He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
i think i just lost a toe
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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