Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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