got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
