its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
