He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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