He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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