i just had sex bonerless
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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