I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
