I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
