not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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