I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
me + whiskey = a bad person
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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