dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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