put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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