I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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