This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
