i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize