he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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