the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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