I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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