butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
