Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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