He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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