do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
we're making bets on your personal life
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
