i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
