THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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