It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
