i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
