if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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