PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
