I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
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