Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize