The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
