why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
