Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
