Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize