I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Everclear isn't food dammit
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
