So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
