the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
