I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
