I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
