what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
