Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize