it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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