Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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