She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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