Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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